Our last post, on the witch wound, received a lot of responses. We heard you. So we wanted to go deeper. That post went into the history of the fear. This one is about what to actually do with it.
If you're afraid to speak your truth, you're far from alone. So many of us are holding back in our own lives because of an old, old fear: that if we really shine our light and share our magic, we might end up an outcast.
What follows is some gentle coaching: two questions to sit with, and then the part most of us skip, which is saying it out loud.
The same old fear in new clothes
We don't burn witches anymore. But we do have cancel culture, and in a lot of ways that's the modern witch hunt. One wrong sentence and a whole crowd can turn on you. It's the same old fear in new clothes.
You don't have to have been cancelled for this to live in your body. Most of us have watched it happen to someone else, and quietly made a note to keep our own heads down.
And staying quiet has a cost too, even if it's harder to see. Maybe it's the conversation you keep putting off, or the part of yourself you leave at home when you go see your family.
None of this means you have to say everything to everyone. Some things are private, and that's healthy. What I'm talking about is the thing that keeps knocking. You know the one.
Before you begin: give yourself ten minutes
You can do this as journaling or as a meditation. Choose whichever one your body is asking for today.
If you're journaling, grab a notebook and a pen. Writing by hand tends to slow the thinking mind down, and that helps. If you'd rather meditate, sit somewhere quiet, close your eyes, and take a few slow breaths before you start.
Put your phone in another room, or at least face down. Give yourself about ten minutes. You don't need longer, and you can always come back.
One more thing before you start. You don't have to be fair or polished in your journal, just honest.
Question one: what is the thing you've been afraid of saying?
Ask yourself: What is the thing I've been afraid of saying?
Or maybe it isn't a statement at all. Maybe it's a question you've been afraid of asking. Questions can be even scarier, because a question invites an answer you can't control.
Let whatever comes up come up, without judging it. It might be something for one person in your life. It might be something you'd want the whole world to hear.
If you're journaling, write the first thing that comes, even if it seems small or silly. Try to write it as the actual sentence, in the words you would really use. "I need more help than I've been asking for" lands differently in your body than a vague note about wanting more support.
If you're meditating, let the words form in your mind and notice where you feel them. Some people feel it in the throat, others lower down.
If you get stuck, these can help open it up:
- Is there a sentence you've rehearsed in the car or the shower and never said?
- Who do you go quiet around, and what would you say if you didn't?
- What do you know about yourself, or your gifts, that you haven't told anyone yet?
- Is there a question you keep almost asking, and then swallow?
Question two: if you said it out loud, what might shift?
Now ask: If I said it out loud, what might shift or change in my life?
Write about it, or sit with it and breathe. Notice what comes.
Let yourself imagine it honestly. What might open up, and what would you get to stop carrying around?
Your mind will probably also show you everything that could go wrong. Let it. Write that down too. The fear has information in it, and it's easier to look at on paper than when it's running in the background.
Then read both lists back and notice which one feels heavier in your body. Sometimes the cost of staying quiet turns out to be bigger than the risk of speaking. And sometimes you'll realize the timing isn't right yet. Both are useful to know.
The word "might" matters here. You're not predicting what will happen, just letting yourself imagine it.
If nothing comes, or something big comes
If nothing comes, that's okay. Some of us have been quiet for so long that the words aren't right on the surface. Try again tomorrow with the same two questions. You can also come at it sideways and ask yourself what you didn't say yesterday. Often the answer shows up a day or two later, while you're doing the dishes.
If something big comes, slow down. You don't have to do anything with it today. Put your hand on your heart and let it be true for a minute before you decide anything.
And if what comes up feels like more than you can hold on your own, please don't hold it alone. Reach out to us to discuss coaching. You can book a free discovery call here.
Then say it out loud, starting small
This is the step I care about most, and it's the one we usually skip.
Hearing your own voice say the thing is different from thinking it. You don't have to start with the person it's meant for, though. You can build up to it, one step at a time:
- Say it to yourself, out loud. Alone in your room or in the car, just hear what it sounds like in your own voice.
- Record a voice memo on your phone. Say it, then listen back and notice what your body does when you hear it.
- Write back to me. I mean this. Email it to me, or attach that voice memo. You can practice on someone who's on your side.
- Tell one person you trust. Not the person it's about. Someone who loves you and can just listen.
- Have the real conversation, when you're ready. Choose a moment when you both have room to listen. Talk about your own experience rather than what they did wrong. You can't control how they respond.
Take these at whatever pace feels right. It's fine to stay on the first step for a week.
How we hold this in one-on-one coaching
When you work with one of us, Yonatan or me, the same person is with you every week. Over time we get to know your whole story, and that makes it easier to tell the difference between a fear that's protecting you and one that's just keeping you small.
Most sessions begin in the body, since that's often where the fear shows up first, in a tight throat or a held breath. There's room to say it out loud with someone who's on your side, and to talk honestly about what happens when you do. Breathwork and movement are part of it too, and sometimes Reiki or sound, depending on what you need.
If you want to go further with this one-on-one, you can book a free discovery call, or read more about our coaching first.
Write back to me
I'd really love to hear from you. Tell me the thing you've been afraid to say. Or tell me what magic you'd like to bring into the world, and what the world might look like with your gifts more deeply in it.
You can email me here, or record a voice memo and attach it. Saying it to me counts as saying it out loud.
I can't wait to hear from you.
With love,
Jaime
